Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
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I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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