last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
