the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
