I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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