Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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