You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize