I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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