remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
