Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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