Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
