i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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