Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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