I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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