I am in a vortex of obligation.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
