Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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