Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
