i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
