At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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