the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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