Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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