heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
