It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
