Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Well I just put wine in my tea
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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