wrigley field is MILF paradise
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
