what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
