Got a toothbrush?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...