His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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