Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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