is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza