I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.