I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
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We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
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I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?