It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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