If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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