Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
