You're my little dorito
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i think i just lost a toe
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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