How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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