we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
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She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
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How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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