I wanna bring you to show and tell
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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