mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
