I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
