I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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