I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
