Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
