I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
