So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
