How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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