ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
