We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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