Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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