I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
