I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize