I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
