these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize