Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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