I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize