i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
