There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
drinking out of a sandbucket again
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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